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- CLASSIC ALBUM OF THE
WEEK
- KISS "Rock And Roll Over" 1976 (USA)
Ooo baby yeah need sum LOOOVVE for Valentine's Day PLEDGE DRIVE!
Nothin says LOOOVVEE like kabuki metal clowns from outer space! KISS is
the greatest branding exercise in the history of rock. And much like
The Beatles who clearly inspired them, the band KISS' motto can be
summed up in one word: "LOVE!" The Beatles began writing songs
about love in the usual "hand-holding teeny bopper feelings" kind of
way, then in their more mature era evolved to describe a more
universal "Kosmik" love. However, when KISS sings of love, what they
really mean is SEXXX! I have always enjoyed the supreme irony that KISS
is a joke band despised by many who do not seem to get the joke, when
it couldn't be more absurdly obvious. When CEO Stan "Paul Stanley"
Eisen and CFO Chaim "Gene Simmons" Witz were preparing to incorporate
their business originally, they wanted the strongest possible brand
name that could not be ignored: their first idea was FUCK, which was of
course too brilliant and far ahead of its time - hence, the softer
variant "KISS" which was a word you could actually say on 1970's TV and
radio. But therein lies the secret KISS KODE: anytime you hear one of
their songs about "love" just replace that word with "fuck" (or
parenthetically insert it into the title somewhere) and you will know
what their songs are all about. Thus this week's classic album contains
the following ten tracks: "I Want (to fuck) You", "Take Me (so we can
fuck)", "Calling Dr. Fuck", "Meet You In The Ladies Room (so we can
fuck)", "Baby Driver (is what I call my body part used for fucking)",
"Fuck 'em and Leave 'em", "Mr. Speed (is not as popular with the ladies
as Dr. Fuck)", "See You (and fuck you) In Your Dreams Tonight", the hit
ballad "Hard Luck Woman (until you get to fuck)", and finally the
closing number "Makin' Fuck". If you think that's crass, well now you
know why they dress up like clown-creatures and distract the audience
with fire and explosions: in order to spread their simple and primal
message of love throughout this prudish world! They are like the ninjas
of romance! Happy Valentines Day everybody! |
